Tomorrow I’ll be with my husband’s family and we’ll be celebrating the life of his brother, Jeremy. We’ll have a good time being together & staying busy with fun activities for the kids. Unfortunately though the guest of honor won’t be with us. Later this month we’ll mark six years since we lost Jeremy. Tomorrow he would be turning 24. I think everyone has a “phrase” they use to describe the death of someone … we lost him, since he passed away, went home, etc. I tend to always use “lost”, but I recently read someone hated that phrase because she didn’t lose her loved one – she knew exactly where he was! Thankfully, we know exactly where Jeremy is too. We know he’s with a God that loves him & celebrates him just like we will be tomorrow. And we know he’s praising a God & celebrating a God that he loved with all his (young) heart! Just a few days after Jeremy died, I wrote a poem as I tried to sort out my thoughts and feelings to a very unexpected and sudden loss.
Understanding always seems like the hardest thing to do
When things don’t make any sense & life doesn’t leave a clue.
When all that’s left is memories
With no chance to capture new moments,
We can’t help but want to understand
We can’t help but wonder how all this can be part of your plan.
To leave so many people hurting
To leave so many people in pain
To leave so many people not knowing, how they’ll ever live again.
Why couldn’t we say good-bye?
Why couldn’t we have that chance?
To express our love one last time
Before our heart’s final dance.
If only to see him strong like the trees
Or feel him like the gentle rain.
To hear him clear like thunder,
We might feel whole & sane.
Could it be that heaven wasn’t complete?
Or that your mighty love wanted to spare his future pain?
Could it be that you rejoiced that day,
For your child had come home to say?
And did you also mourn,
To see your children left behind in such pain?
We know his heart was ready – he was an angel here on earth.
So open & forgiving
Always loving & accepting.
Now we know our treasure in heaven
Is much greater than it could have ever been.
And as those left behind are faced with a world that’s new,
Understanding still seems like the hardest thing to do.
Happy Birthday Jeremy! We’ll always love & miss you!!